1000 Fan Celebration Week!

I'm so excited to hit 1000 fans on my FB page, Aileen Murphy - Partylite Independent Consultant!  To celebrate, I have the following planned for this week:

• Show Me What You've Got Contest - A Fan Photo Contest!  Prize will be winner's choice of a Scent Plus Melt!  This will be open at the time of this post until Friday, 8 PM EST.  Take a pic of your PartyLite items and post it to the wall.  If you don't have any, go to my website and post of a pic of what you love!  I will put all pics in an album and the winner will be drawn via random.org!

• Easter Grab Bags - 42 bags, 42 winners! - 42 bags @ $6/bag (plus shipping $2 to Canada, $2.50 to US). Link to entry form, along with more details: http://bit.ly/f6f7CJEach bag contains one of the following:
  
  1 Lavender Bunny Hop
  3 Layered Egg-Shaped Jar Candles
  3 Signature Perfumed Jar Candles
  3 6-packs of votives
  1 Color Lites Tealight Holder and dozen tealights
  31 Scent Plus Melts
  
  For a total of 42 prizes! Draw will take place when all bags are sold! Winners of larger prizes will be determined by random.org.

• 1000 Fan SALE Album - PartyLite items available at a great discount!  Will be posted later in the day.

I hope you guys are as excited as I am!  Thanks so much!

This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Facebook. You are providing your information to me and not to Facebook. The information you provide will only be used for this promotion.

Wow! It's been a month since my last post...

I can't believe my last post was a month ago...but a lot has happened over this past month that has kept me from fully committing to a number of things, my blog for one.  I was very optimistic going into 2011.  It was a brand new year, and I had a brand new outlook - or at least I thought I did.  2010 was not the greatest year, between me returning back to school, my husband having to go on medical leave for 3 months to let his elbows heal and regain some strength, me scrambling to find a p/t job to help supplement income and still keeping up with being a PartyLite independent consultant, and then me missing almost the entire first month of the fall semester because all the stress made me sick to my stomach (literally)....

2011 was supposed to be a new beginning, but shadows from the past managed to creep back in.  I was not myself.  I felt down and out.  I had trouble sleeping, even with sleeping pills.  There were nights where I would lie in bed all night, only to fall asleep at 8 am.  I was just plain exhausted.  I cancelled plans because I didn't feel like getting out of bed, let alone leave the house.  I got irritated easily, snapping back for no good reason.  On top of feeling lousy and tired, I was (and still am) incredibly anxious.  I have managed to keep myself from having a panic attack this last month, but am having a hell of a time calming myself down.  My short-term memory was fuzzy (still is a bit, but better) and I had a hard time concentrating on any one thing for a good period of time.  I started to write things down so I wouldn't forget, but would forget where I had written it down.  So I turned to my phone to give me notifications about appointments, even just simple tasks like calling this place or that.

Needless to say, school was not viable in this state of mind (or work for that matter).  It was a hard decision, since I have only 6 courses left to complete my Bachelor of Commerce degree, but I withdrew from school for this semester.  I have every intention on going back in the fall, however it means that we had to make changes to our future plans.  And I know that my husband understands, but I can't help but feel guilty sometimes.  Things happen for a reason, it's just hard to see that now.

Hopefully, things will turn around.  I've started to meditate Wednesday and hope to keep up with it everyday to deal with my anxiety.  And so the search for balance continues....As they say, namaste ;)

Awww look! My First Blog Award! Part 1

I'm so honoured to start off the New Year with my very first blog award!  Thank you so much to Mom to 2 Posh Lil Divas for awarding my little blog with the award!  I'm so grateful just to be recognized!


So here are the rules for acceptance of the award:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

I'll start by paying it forward and award these great bloggers with the Stylish Blogger Award (in no particular order):

1. My 3 Little Kittens
2. {meant to be} MAMA
3. Baby Blackbird
4. The Baby Bottom Line
5. Mama Digs It
6. Coping with Frugality
7. My Secret Home
8. Cutesie Blog Designs
9. Living on Limited Income
10. Because Cheaper is Better
11. Thrifty Wifey
12. Bouncing Woolies
13. West Coast Mama
14. Simply Stacie
15. Life on Mars--Hideaheart Begins

The next post will be the 7 things about me...which might take a while!  Stay tuned for part 2!

Happy New Year!

Okay, I'm a few days late but I'd like to wish you and yours a Happy New Year!  May the new year bring you love, health, success and prosperity!

2010 Retrospective - We Survived!

As 2010 comes to a close, I feel the need to look back before looking forward.  2010 was a rough year on my hubby, Craig, and me.  And it would be fairly easy to focus only on the negatives, but there were some positives this year.  Positives that I take for granted, as they get lost amongst all the negatives.

2010 started with a lifestyle change, as I returned to school after being in the workforce for about 6-7 years.  I went back to finish my Bachelor of Commerce degree, and I was excited!  We both knew that sacrifices would have to be made, going from 2 incomes to 1.  I just didn't know how much my income made life so much easier for us financially.  No more impulsive purchases, everything had to be planned.  Easier said than done.

The stress of being back in school caught up with me in March, and I had blinding headaches for a month.  I still managed to keep my grades up though!  I even had one professor offer a letter of reference if I decided to pursue graduate school!  That just blew my mind!  Graduate school hadn't even crossed my mind; I just wanted to finish my degree.

I became a PartyLite Consultant back in Dec 2009, in the hopes to supplement our income.  It's been an up and down adventure.  I've learned a lot about myself and running a business.  I still haven't got it figured out yet, but I've met some amazing people, in person and online on FB, that I wouldn't have if I wasn't a consultant!

However, in June, my focus changed from supplementing income to finding stable income as Craig went on short-term disability for 3 months.  Not only were we living on one income, that one income was now reduced.  But finding a part-time job was not easy.  I finally found one in July, but hours were dependent on events going on and the pay was lousy.  I stuck it out until the end of August, when I couldn't take it anymore!  The stress of worrying about Craig's well-being, lack of finances, combined with returning back to school led to myself giving myself an ulcer - which lasted almost 2 months.  As a result, I missed a lot of classes and this semester was not up to my standards.  It took me a while, but I've come to accept this fact and not beat myself up over it.

It hasn't been an easy year for Craig either.  May, he tore his hamstring (it was black and ugly-looking).  June, he fractured his left elbow and displaced his right elbow, making him unable to work.  Plenty of visits to the orthopedic surgeon and the physiotherapist.  The last visit to the orthopedic surgeon was 3 weeks ago, and finally we received good news!  No surgery required and no more physio as the fracture is 80% healed!  We'll overlook the fact that he pulled his calf 2 weeks ago..LOL!

So looking back, we survived a year of a lot of adversity!  The positives may have also got lost in this post, so I'll finish off with it (in no particular order):

• I'm one semester away from finishing my degree!
• Craig's almost healed!
• We were able to spend the summer together!
• I've met some amazing people because of being involved in PartyLite!
• Our marriage has grown stronger by surviving all this adversity!

Here's to hoping the New Year brings us love, success, prosperity, and health (no more injuries please)!  I wish the New Year brings you and yours the same!

It's Always Nice to Hear Kind Words

"Sometimes in life, what is, is good.  And what is good, is good enough."

*Sigh*  After the semi-meltdown last night, I have been met with kind words of support.  Thank you to Nanny Anna for leaving the comment you did - it's nice to know that someone else has gone through what I'm struggling with and was successful in changing that train of thought. 

I am realizing what's behind my way of thinking and I'm slowly trying to correct it.  Actually, I've realized two things which both set me up for failure (both learned while I was growing up - though I'm not that old!)

1. No matter what I achieved, it was never good enough.  When I reached the bar that was set, it kept getting raised.
2. I've learned to be dependent on others to function.

Unconsciously, I still do both.  I keep raising the bar, and by doing that, I will never be satisfied.  And on some level, I keep victimizing myself therefore enabling me to ask for help.  So here is my new year's resolution: to know that good is good enough and celebrate the good, and learn how to stand on my own two feet.  I am very lucky to have the support system that I have, but I need to rely on them less.  My hubby has taken too much of the burden on himself - it's time that I help carry the load.

So I am back to celebrating the invite I received yesterday! =)

Can't Sleep...Too Much on My Mind

It's been a while since I've posted and since I can't sleep, I thought now's a good time to write and maybe it'll help.  Don't mind me as I ramble on.

There are some nights when I have no idea why I'm still wide awake.  And there are nights like these when I know exactly why I'm awake.  I tend to do most of my thinking (and worrying) at night - when the house is quiet and the only thing I here are my own thoughts.  There are plenty of nights where I wish I could just shut off all thoughts that go through my mind.  Tonight is one of those nights.

For those who know me, you will know that I feel guilty about anything and everything.  I've been told that I always see the glass as half-empty, and that I blame myself for everything that goes wrong, whether it was in my control or not.  I fixate on what went wrong instead celebrating what went right.  I'm working on it, but it's going to be a lot of work when you lived most of your life thinking this way.  Again, my way of thinking is being tested and I am reverting back to my negative train of thought.  That's why I'm awake, as it's eating away at me.

Today, in the mail, I received an invitation from Grant MacEwan to join their inaugural chapter of the Golden Key International Honour Society for my academic achievement!  I was so surprised and excited and proud at the same time!  I couldn't believe what I was reading!  I showed the letter to my mom and my hubby, I was so happy!  But then my mind took over and sabotaged my moment of pride.  This invitation is based on my academic standing now, and does not include this semester.  If they would've included this semester....well let's just say I wouldn't have received the invite.  It's been a horrible semester - one I'll be lucky to survive.

So rather than be proud of what I've achieved over the course of basically my adult life (MacEwan has credited courses I took back in 2000), I'm focused on the failure that is this semester and can't help feeling like a fraud.  I even accepted the invite right away, because I thought that way they couldn't take it away from me.  Now all I can think about is the chapter inauguration event next Feb (I believe) and feeling like I don't belong, like I'm some kind of fraud. 

I know my grades are going to take a hit after this semester.  And I know it's not the end of the world, but I can't help but feel like I've let my family down and most importantly, I let myself down.  My family's made a lot of sacrifices in order for me to return to school.  Part of me knows the reason why this semester is not up to my standards is due to missing 1 1/2 months of classes because I was sick, and a couple other reasons.  But the negative me keeps telling myself that those are just excuses and that I'm responsible for the situation that I'm in.  This is the part of me I'm working on but it's overwhelming me right now.

I am trying to keep the Serenity Prayer in my mind, as a way to redirect the negative thoughts, but it doesn't seem to be working.

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.